Podcast

Being a parent oftentimes means having only two hands for a four-hand problem.  That is just the nature of the job.  A parent opens their eyes and is met with a barrage of chores and responsibilities, mostly centered on preserving a stable home environment for their children.  Because this series focuses on fathers, however, allow me to be culturally “trad” (or traditional as the more hip call it) and hone in on what fathers, in my humble estimation, are better designed to do. Much of the talk these days makes little room for the natural parenting proclivities of men and women, respectively.  Of course, I would not want to generalize, but suffice it to know, dear listeners, that my daughters come to me for some reasons while they go to their mother for other reasons.  From their mother they might want relationship advice.  From me, they might want school or college advice.  From their mother they might want to be playful.  From me they might want to have a more serious conversation about making good choices.  From their mother, they might want to be fed.  From me, they might want to have something repaired. Let me be clear.  Different individuals, male and female, possess different attributes that may not conform to gender expectations.  My sister, for example, is handy with tools, and I have known plenty of guys who are excellent listeners and conversationalists.  You get my point.  But where a married couple with children is successful is when they harmonize those qualities to the benefit of their offspring.  What they cannot get from mommy, they can get from daddy and vice versa.    What we have borne witness to in our society are households where one person, usually the mother, is expected to bear both burdens.  How many times have you actually heard a single mother proclaim that she is both mom and dad.  Practically speaking, this may be so, but it was never the design.  It was not the intended outcome. Many throw up their hands and proclaim that the mom and dad in one scenario is the norm, and against this, we should all chaff.  Men, in particular, need to reclaim their position as fathers if not husbands and strive toward creating that symbiotic relationship with the mother of their children because the truth of the matter is that they have something of great value to offer.  Indeed, as the popular saying goes (a saying also found in the film Courageous by the Kendrick brothers), if fathers only did what they needed to do then we would not have half the problems in our society that we have.  Dads need to step up and be responsible even if it means feeling overwhelmed and outnumbered.  The prize is worth it.  The children desperately need it.  The noble burden was never meant to be shouldered by one. Here is a poem I wrote.  I hope it lands well. Right-handed Mitt God love her, my mother did her best, even with the baseball mitt she bought with the money we never had. It felt stiff on my right hand, a leather lobster claw of my own. “How can I throw?” I remember asking. “I’m not a lefty.” “How do I know?  How do I know?” She met the indignation of a child with the tired exasperation of a new widow. So I practiced and went to games. I was in the stovepipe league –  the Blacks, the kids who were not destined for varsity stardom, and I used my mitt in the exile of left field, dashing for the lucky pop flies, throwing the ball to the frantic short stop, one hand doing all the work.